Itoshigo, Sakura
by Smigmee Smimbles
Summary: Amidst a face-off of team 9, and team Kakashi, Sasuke must decide where his true loyalties reside... Please review my story and i'll add more chapters! :


**Sasuke's big day out in Tesco supermarket**

**A Naruto OC Fanfic By Smigmee Smimbles.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto characters belong to Capcom and all that old shite.**

**It was morning in that shitty little village of Konoha, when Sasuke woke up. He was naked from the waist down and the waist up, but his waist wasn't nude itself, cos he had a wonderful mustard-colored chunky knit sweater wrapped around him. In bed with him was KagoYasha Tsuna, who was silently slumbering on a bed of rose petals and tatami mats. **

**For those of you who don't know what a tatami mat is, it's basically a little rug made of straw which is well shit cos my mum has had her carpeting for like 10 years and I bet they are well better than them fuckin' tatamis. **

**Anyway, the now pink-haired, massive-titted, tanned skinned KagoYasha was awake and hungry for some pocky. **

" **Konnichiwa, Sass-kun! Can I have some Pocky Kawaaii-desu?"**

" **eh? Um, I'd have to pop up Tesco and get it. Lemme have a piss first."**

**Sasuke then weed right on Kago's hair and breasts. She loved it, cos like all Hentai girls, she had loads of fetishes.**

**I once saw a hentai where there was this girl and this man gived her an enema and then it turned out that the man was her dad or some shit like that. Fuckin hentai. It's wrong, innit? Although I did download a well funny one where this girl got the shits then grew a massive knob and had sex with a young lad in a public toilet.**

**Anyways, Kago woke up again and licked all his wee and then his willy. If Sasuke played his cards right, he could lose his virginity all over again and have sex with Kaggy. Kago undid her elaborate peach colored kimono and revealed a latex bondage suit with the tits cut out and her lady bits on show. She gived Sasuke a BJ right there and then and he fondled all three of her tits. **

**Six hours later, in Tesco, Sasuke was pushing a shopping trolley with his little limp wrists and moaning about the price of pockey and ramens, whilst Kagoyasha was outside parking the mech.**

" **Sassy-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!! Omg desu kawaiiii!!" She squealed (my god I hate this fucking OC).**

" **Oh, there you are. Have you seen the bloody prices of these? I aint paying! I didn't whore out my racing pigeons to that weird fella over the road to piggin' well spend it on these expensive bloody food items! Gawd, it makes me glad I got an allotment up by Sutton Town centre!"**

" **Sassy-kuuuuun—or should I say………Onee-chan? Yes, you are my younger brother, and we are doing incest!"**

**Sasuke (or should I say "SasuGAY", Amirite?) was all shocked. Not just cos the loud-mouthed slag-bin was shoutin' it all out in Tesco, but the fact that only moments ago in the shop toilets he did Paizuri on her. Now, for all those who is reading this shit and they don't know what paizuri is, you've so obviously got learning difficulties. Paizuri is where some man sticks his knob in a girlies titz. Seriously. Them fucking Japanese invented it—I tell ya wot though, I'd love to have been there when they CAME (see, I used the word 'Came' as another term for SEMEN) up with that idea.**

**Think about it.**

**Little jap bloke sees a naked jap lady, and instead of going to her moist…thing, he sticks it in her TINY, yeah tiny cos they aint got no tits, breasts. That's why hentai has so many massive knockers, cos they is wishful thinking. Serious, go look it up in an Atlas: Japanese women have midget gem tits.**

**Anyway, whatever, back to the stupid story. **

**Right, so, Sasuke did his sister, and she;s telling all the wankers in Tesco.**

" **Kags, why the FUCK didn't you tell me whilst we were ninja-jumping through some trees to escape a rock demon (like in that well good film Ninja Scroll. I fucking love that film, cos I watched it when I were 14 and there was tits and rock-rape) on the way here?!" he said, getting a hard-on, bless him.**

" **Because…because…."**

" **Spit it out, knob-wipe"**

" **I'm pregnant."**

" **Kag, I fucking knew that already. As if you were a virgin! Fuck, you've had it more times than Naruto's punched Sakura in the face for sassing him. Face it, you're no fucking Mary."**

**Kagoyasha's eyes filled up with tears, that sparkled like stars and all that anime shite. **

"**H-how could you…? I thought you loved me!"**

" **No one loves you, weeaboo fag OC mary-sue wank-stain"**

**Note: This is, in fact, a direct message to any fucking mary-sue, OC, self-insert fuck-nuts out there on . Seriously, I saw what you did to House M.D—all them OC's? Bollocks and wank—they were NOWHERE near as multi-dimensional and deep as the brilliant characters from that awesome show. **

**I bet you all sit there, watching your stupid Naruto, scratching your seventeen bellies and hitching up your large-cup bra (dudes especially, cos they are both fat and wish they were sweet little anime girls) and chowing down on your stupid pocky. Then, when the episode finally ends, you suddenly imagine yourself in that show, as a gorgeous ninja-girl, then get brutally bum-raped by Orochimaru and his dick-snakes. Admit it, you want it from Sasuke, I bet. **

**Tough tits. He lives in another dimension, and he doesn't want to come to ours.**

**I tell ya what, I might actually just kill Kagoyasha Tsuna off. She does my head in, and let's face It, It'd give whiny sasuke something to whinge about and go all emo about, wouldn't it?**

**Okay, just as Kags went to arse-fuck Sasuke with a strap-on (oh my how vulgar), a shopping trolley somehow fell on her head and killed her instantly. Sasuke would have been sad if it wasn't for the fact that the trolley in question was utter-fucking-ly ravishing (like those sexay ones from Ikea). He wanked, She died, Dr House laughed.**

**That's it, fuck off and write me a stupid review telling me how I have learning difficulties.**

**I get off on it.**


End file.
